The Defining Decade

Hello there!

I’ve been having a trying time with the way things are going slow in my life right now. No steady income, no NYSC(they’ve postponed it again, they are so disorganized), no developing a career, no graduate program, no driver’s license, the list goes on.  The wonderful people in my life keep saying, enjoy these days

I don’t want my twenties to waste or fly away!

After surfing the net for people like me, I stumbled and subscribed to Paul Angone’s newsletters after reading excerpts from his books, All Groan Up and 101 Secrets For Your Twenties. I’m anticipating finding and getting the hard cover.

And all of a sudden my friend came all the way from a neighboring state a d we exchange latest motivating ebooks and she sent this!

The Defining Decade, a book written by Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist who specializes in adult development and twenty something’s in particular has so much in store for the would be Twenties, the twenties and those beyond twenties. It was published in 2012 by Twelve

It was like a dream come true. Almost similar to Paul’s, but I still want his (no knowledge is a waste).

The book is split into three parts or major aspect of being twenty which are;
– Work,
– Love,
– The brain and the body

Work –
Age twenty is the best time to start developing a career, sourcing funds and getting best at what you’re good at. This part focused on topics which includes:
Identity Capital – creating and working on what makes you you. Instead of lamenting of identity crisis. One should build and work/ do things that would increase self worth and identity.
Weak ties – most of the turning points in our lives that involves the help of people is mostly from people we have weak ties with. Mastering the act of strengthening weak ties and creating lasting and meaningful networks are very essential.
My Life Should Look Better on Facebook – being led to believe that everyone of your friends life is perfect. Perfect job, family, homes, marriage, etc. Not focusing on your life and wanting the life of another or striving for it.

Love –
We all fall in love, now or later. Most of us want to get married, now or later. But we don’t get to pick when. Because we are in our twenties we think we are too young to get married when the right person is standing right before us. Then at twenty nine, we start rushing and jumping into relationships and marriages all because we don’t want to be alone at thirty.
The Big Five helps one in making choices of a fit partner – Openness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, Neuroticism and Conscientiousness.
This part is further divided into sections that includes:
– The Cohabitation Effect
– Being in like
– Picking your family.

The Body and The Brain –
From MRI scans of healthy adolescents and twentysomethings, we now know that the frontal lobe does not fully mature until sometime between the ages of twenty and thirty. In our twenties, the pleasure-seeking, emotional brain is ready to go while the forward-thinking frontal lobe is still a work in progress.

Twentysomethings aren’t brain damaged, of course, but because of the still-developing frontal lobe, they can be what psychologists call “uneven.” Many of my clients are confused by the fact that they went to good colleges, yet they don’t know how to start the careers they want. Or they don’t understand how they could have been valedictorians but are unable to make decisions about whom to date and why. Or they feel like fakes because they managed to get good jobs yet cannot calm themselves down at work. Or they can’t figure out how twentysomethings who did not do as well in school are now outpacing them in life.

Remember!
Our personalities change more during the twentysomething years than at any time before or after.
The future isn’t written in the stars. There are no guarantees. So claim your adulthood. Be intentional. Get to work. Pick your family. Do the math. Make your own certainty. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do.
You are deciding your life right now.

On my android phone it was 236paged. I would have uploaded the book here, but, my phone doesn’t support that. Here’s a link to download though – click on the first link!

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. Naturalista4me says:

    Great read. In my twenty some things I worked hard for everyone else. In my thirties I am working harder for myself. I also love to read books that will help me to grow in all areas of my life. You are doing a great thing by reading books that will inspire you. This is what I recognize as “The Slight Edge” which is a book that I just finished reading by Jeff Olsen. All things that we do will send us upwards on the slight edge or downwards. There is no in between. This booked has helped me to take steps daily towards reaching my goals and keeping in mind that my actions will bring me upwards or downwards. I choose up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. CAMAA says:

      Thank you. …☺☺☺
      I choose up!!!

      Like

  2. Hey, you are the real MVP!!!! I’ll be entering the twenty league in a couple of weeks and I’m already scared of “being groan up”. I’ll definitely read the book. Thank you

    Like

    1. CAMAA says:

      Lol….
      I’ll be right here with open arms and love to welcome you!

      Like

  3. Awww thank you. But wait o I won’t mind if you add cash to the open arms and love package. Lol

    Like

    1. CAMAA says:

      Hahaha 😂😂😂😂
      Now I’m wondering if there’s IBO blood mixed in yours too.

      Liked by 1 person

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